Nadine

Como ya sabreis la mayoria, hace dos semanas Brad y yo fuimos a mi primera ecografia para saber el sexo del bebe.

La emoción que teniamos los dos por saber por fin si ibamos a tener una niña o un niño eran increibles... Pero tras un rato intentando nos dijeron que no encontraban el latido de mi bebe y que parecia que habia dejado de desarrollarse hacia dos semanas...Nos dijeron que teniamos que ir al hospital donde me provocarian el parto, ya que estando de 5 meses el bebe no podia salir por si mismo. Volvimos a casa destrozados.

A la manana siguiente fuimos al hospital, donde me dieron medicamentos para hacerme dilatar.

El cuerpecito de mi pequeña Nadine nació a las 3.22 de la mañana el viernes 25 de Enero. Mientras que a otras personas les puede parecer algo morboso o raro(a mi me lo hubiera parecido si no hubiera sido mi bebe) Brad y yo tuvimos la bendicion de poder coger a nuestra hija y pasar unas horas con ella.

La meci, la bese y entre lagrimas la dije lo mucho que la queria y lo muchisimo que la iba a echar de menos. Dentro de lo duro que esta siendo esta prueba para mi, el poder pasar esos momentos con ella ha sido una de las experiencias mas bonitas y mas especiales que jamas haya tenido.

Esta experiencia ha sido la mas dificil que he tenido que pasar en mi vida (que estoy pasando). El tener que ir al hospital, pasar por toda la experiencia del parto, y tener que salir del hospital con los brazos vacios; el saber que en junio mi nenita no va a venir, como teniamos planeado; que toda la ropita y parafernalia de bebe que habiamos comprado, tendran que esperar la llegada de otro bebe. Pero sé sin ninguna duda que mi Nadine esta con Nuestro Padre Celestial y que un dia tendre la bendicion de poder criarla. Se que mi Padre Celestial me bendecira con mas hijos/as y que pase lo que pase Brad y yo ya somos padres, y qeu tenemos una niñita esperandonos al otro lado del velo.

Tengo que agradecer el apoyo y el amor que hemos recibido de nuestra familia y amigos a traves de tarjetas, flores, cenas a casa, llamadas de telefono, etc. Sin ninguna duda tengo qeu decir que no puedo superar esto sin todo vuestro apoyo y cariño. Tuve la bendicion de que una mujer viniera al hospital y tomara las "huellas" de las manitas y los pies de mi nena,y que podemos guardar eso como recuerdo; que pudiera hacer un modelo en escayola de los piececitos y las manitas de mi Nadine, y que para mi eso vale mas que oro.

La voya echar tanto de menos, desde el saber que estaba dentro de mi creciendo y que siempre me podia oir, y que estaba siempre conmigo, a saber cada junio que era cuando tenia que haber llegado, o que fue en enero cuando llego. La echo de menos cada minuto que pasa, pero sé que volveremos a reunirnos algun dia.

As most of you already know, almost three weeks ago Brad and I went in for my first ultrasound to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.

We were so excited to finally find out what it was we were expecting, but unfortunately the news we got were far too different from what we anticipated, they couldn't find my baby's heartbeat. Apparently the baby had stopped developping two weeks prior. They told us I had to go to the hospital to induce the labor...I don't need to tell you how devastated we were.

Next day we went to the hospital, and after a whole day, the body of our little Nadine was born at 3.22 am on Friday January 25th.

I would have thought that seeing the baby would have been quind of grotesque and mostly weird, but I can now say that holding by little girl must have been one of the most special moments of my life. I held her in my arms, kissed her, and told her how much I was going to miss her until we met again. It was such a wonderful blessing to spend some time with her.

I can say that this has been the hardest thing I have had to live through. Going to the hospital, going through the delivery and leave the hospital without my baby girl, knowing that come June, I will not have her in my arms, that all those little outfits and baby parafernalia I got, will have to wait another baby. But I have no doubt in my heart that she is with our Heavenly Father, and that one day I will have the blessing to raise her. I know that our Heavenly Father will bless us with more children, and that no matter what Brad and I are already parents, that we already have a little girl waiting for us at the other side of the veil.

I am so blessed for all the family and friends that have sent us cards, flowers, dinners, phone calls, etc. I can easily say that I would not be able to have go this without their love and support.

I was so blessed to have a lady come to the hospital and take Nadine's hand and foot prints, so that we could have that to remember her by. That she was also able to make a clay replica of her tiny hands and tiny feet, and I tradure that more than any other possesions.

I am going to miss her terribly. From knowing that she was growing inside me and that she was always with me, and could already hear me, to know each June that it was when she was supposed to come to us, or every January that it was when she actually came to us. I miss her every minute of every day, but I know that we will meet again one day.